Alone

Mood: not happy nor sad

Music: Impulsive by MYMP

A simple word with a simple meaning "ALONE = SOLITUDE"

Being alone is not so bad. It helps me think regarding my next move.

I don't know if I should be serious with my life right now.

But maybe I should, especially now that I will be getting married.

Being serious in life gives me shivers, but I know it's for my own good.

I'm scared with what my life might happen after the wedding.

How married life goes?

Questions came puring in my thoughts when I hear the word marriage.

Will I be a good wife?

Will I have kids soon?

Will I be a good mother?

What will happen when we have kids?

All those questions left unanswered until I'm married.

All this things I kept on thinking just because I am alone for 4 hours.

What will my thoughts be if I'm alone for the whole day?

But you know what?

Even if I'm kind of scared, I am still relaxed because I know my better half will help all the way.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

I didn't expect it

Date: March 19, 2010 (Friday)

Haaayyyyy.... Bakit ba ganito? Ako pa ngayon ang nagtuturo sa kanya kung anong maganda at murang engagement ring. In short NAGPAPARAMDAM ako na gusto ko ng singsing. Kasi naman sino ba namang lalaking may mahal na magpropopose sa gusto niyang pakasalan ng walang engagement ring? :( Akala ko talaga bibilin na niya yung singsing para sakin. Akala ko sosorpresahin niya ako nung nagpunta kami sa baguio ng tatlong araw... :( Ang sakit ang lungkot. Dapat talaga hindi ako pumayag nung nag propose siya sa akin ng walang singsing. :(

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Again with the expectations

Date: Feb. 13, 12010
Mood: Mixed emotions
Music: Maybe this Time by Glee Cast


Valentines has come and gone. I am not expecting anything from him. I just wanted one thing only. The ring that started it all... I know he can't still afford it, but I am not asking for too much I just want a simple one but still it will be a symbol that he really asked my hand in marriage.

I keep on bringing it up to my friends but still stayed firm that I am not expecting anything this valentine's day. Then a friend said to me 2 days before vday.

"Just wait maybe it will come sooner or later."

So I thought maybe my friend is right maybe Luke is planning on something this vday and will give me the best gift a girl could ever wanted.

Come vday I was too busy preparing a candle light dinner for a friend and his date. I keep on thingking that maybe it will be really for me and Luke. But then I thought Luke will never use purple for my special evening. So erase the thought.

When the dinner was about to start he kept on asking if i will still go back to the room? Maybe just maybe he hid it there.

All those expectations and high hopes that my friend has given me vanished when the clock strikes at 1 am. it is officially Valentine's Day. When Luke called me to go to the room there is his surprise for me:

A chocolate filled bed that says I love you.
A long stem rose
A slide show of almost all of our pictures.
And a snowglobe.

But no Ring... :(

I should have stayed firm. I shouldn't have expected. I know him too well but I let my guard down. Now I got depressed and disappointed.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

The time has come

Ayun na nga akala ko kasi okay lang sakin na walang e-ring hindi ko pala kakayanin. Lalo na nung nakita ko yung cousin ko na may e-ring na. Parang nasa isip ko.

"Buti pa siya may singsing kahit next year pa ang kasal... :("

masakit malungkot

Ano ba to?!?! :(

(*_*)~*~me~*~(*_*)

Kailan

Kailan mo kaya malalaman?
Ang nasa isip at puso ko
Kailangan pa bang sabihin?
Hindi ba dapat ikaw ang magkusang magbigay sa akin Nasasaktan na ako
Umiiyak sa tuwing naaalala ko
Nangangarap kung kailan magkakaron
Para mapatunayan na totoo
Alam kong medyo mabigat
Ngunit iyon ay nararapat
Ako'y may karapatang magkaron
Sana maisip mo
Bago pa dumating ang Oktubre
Ang sakit sakit
Lagi na lang naiinggit
Lagi na algn umiiyak sa tuwing naiisip
O Kailan?

(*_*)~*~me~*~(*_*)

Miss You

Clean Teen,

Na miss kita ha. Pasensya na kung hindi kita nasulatan kaagad. Naging busy lang kasi ako. Wag ka na mag tampo. Na guilty nga rin ako eh. May aaminin ako sayo. May bago na ako. Makikilala mo rin siya sa susunod. Wag ka ng umiyak. Tandaan mo lang na ikaw pa rin ang una sa buhay ko. Sayo ko lahat sinasabi diba. Matutuwa ka naman kapag nakilala mo na siyang mabuti. Siya nga pala ang pangalan niya ay October. Ikakasal na kami. Sabi ko sayo maruruwa ka eh. kasi hindi na ako malungkot. Hindi na puro problema ang sasabihin ko sayo. Salamat sa lahat ng tulong mo ha.

(*_*)~*~me~*~(*_*)

desperate

I just heard myself talk and I sounded so "desperate"...

I didn't even see it coming. I thought everything is good. I keep on planning for our future and I haven't even notice that "he" haven't said anything at all. Meaning what?

He doesn't want to have a future with me?

I am such a dummy I'm so ashamed of myself, I was the one who proposed, I was the one who's looking for a house, I was the one who keeps registering for wedding expo, I was the one who decided to have a civil wedding this year.

I'm so stupid
Pathetic
Dumb
DESPERATE

I'm so sorry for this. I'm so sorry for that. I'm so sorry for being so desperate. I'm sorry.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

I Love

The most beautiful engagement ring I would ever want to have. A heart shaped genuine blue topaz stone radiates from the center of a stylish bali beaded border in this beautiful ring.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Another one of those dreams

Date: Feb. 2, 2008 (Saturday)
Mood: Tipsy

The Dream

I had a dream about Luke. We were on a car with some friends. Then I took his phone and started looking at his messages. I saw a sweet message from a girl so I started freaking out. Then I found out it’s another fling of his. I went down the car and ran. Then I woke up.

I don’t want this to happen again. I told him a little bit about my dream not all though. Then I told him if it happened again for the third time I swear I will not be solving our issue anymore. I’m done. I’m not going to be the one always running after him every fling he have and act like nothing happened. Not for the third time.

Fool me once, shame on you

Fool me twice shame on me

Fool me three times, I’m stupid

(*_*)~*~*~me~*~*~(*_*)