Hello 2011

Mood: Confused

Again with the confused mood? Why you ask? Because I dreamed about Nathan last night. It just happened. I'm not thinking about him or anything it just did. So here's the dream, it's short but the weirdest of all.

I think I was grilling something outside a house (i don't know who's house it is) i have my back on a wall and people are on the other side of that wall. Then Lindsay (his gf) walked by followed by Nathan. When Lindsay is out of sight, Nathan came back to me hug me and kissed me on the lips. It is so weird because there's this feeling that we both wanted to kiss each other more but then we might be caught by our bf or gf.

Then I woke up.

So many questions:

> why did I dream of him?

> what is the dream about?

> am i missing something?

> am i just being paranoid over this?

I need to google this dream.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Alone

Mood: not happy nor sad

Music: Impulsive by MYMP

A simple word with a simple meaning "ALONE = SOLITUDE"

Being alone is not so bad. It helps me think regarding my next move.

I don't know if I should be serious with my life right now.

But maybe I should, especially now that I will be getting married.

Being serious in life gives me shivers, but I know it's for my own good.

I'm scared with what my life might happen after the wedding.

How married life goes?

Questions came puring in my thoughts when I hear the word marriage.

Will I be a good wife?

Will I have kids soon?

Will I be a good mother?

What will happen when we have kids?

All those questions left unanswered until I'm married.

All this things I kept on thinking just because I am alone for 4 hours.

What will my thoughts be if I'm alone for the whole day?

But you know what?

Even if I'm kind of scared, I am still relaxed because I know my better half will help all the way.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Politics can ruin your work

I hate politics. Specially politics that you discuss in work. For example: Your boss is a loyalist of Gibo. How about your employees? What if they are for Villar, Aquino, Estrada or Gordon. They can't even think for themselves because you "the boss" is a Gibo loyalist. They can't say anything that they don't like Gibo because they are scared. They can't do anything because they might hear or be discriminated if they say who they really want to vote.

Now you tell me that "never ever discuss politics, sex and religion with your friends because you have a different point of view" but you give away and keep on campaigning a certain politician at your office, you give away ballers, t-shirts and stickers. How is that not discussing anything?

What if me, as your employee, is a Aquino loyalist? But you as my boss is a Gibo loyalist. Then you discuss in my face all the wrong doings of Aquino and of course no mistakes with Gibo. How is that fair?

What if I got mad at you because Aquino help me a lot that you don't even know and I shoved it in your face my boss about all the wrong doings of Gibo. Of course I'll get fired but you will just say that you fire me because I shouted at you and did not respect you. But the real reason is that because I didn't agree with you.

Even if you did not tell your employees to be a loyalist of a certain politician but do you think they can say something about it? Of course not.

Think it through, not all of your employees has the same mindset as you. And how dare you say that your friends are blinded on what they believed in.

Shame on you my boss.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Kailan

Kailan mo kaya malalaman?
Ang nasa isip at puso ko
Kailangan pa bang sabihin?
Hindi ba dapat ikaw ang magkusang magbigay sa akin Nasasaktan na ako
Umiiyak sa tuwing naaalala ko
Nangangarap kung kailan magkakaron
Para mapatunayan na totoo
Alam kong medyo mabigat
Ngunit iyon ay nararapat
Ako'y may karapatang magkaron
Sana maisip mo
Bago pa dumating ang Oktubre
Ang sakit sakit
Lagi na lang naiinggit
Lagi na algn umiiyak sa tuwing naiisip
O Kailan?

(*_*)~*~me~*~(*_*)

Proposal

Is it really unromantic if he didn't properly propose to me and we are planning to get married soon but I don't even have an ENGAGEMENT RING yet? We've been together for 8 years and we think the ONLY next step in our relationship is MARRIAGE. That is why we plan to tie the knot soon. But seriously is it really unromantic? Or it's just who we (the couple) are? I know I'm still longing for that perfect proposal.

NO dinner dates
NO movies
NO kneeling

Just that perfect stroll along wherever wait for the sun to shine upon us a perfect speech with bunch of tulips then pop the question. (NO KNEELING FOR CRYING OUT LOUD )

It's just who we (THE COUPLE) are.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Just that

Just when I thought nothing could go wrong

everything will fall into

pieces.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Missing You Dearly

Is it worth missing a friend

even if you know

that he will not

miss you

the way you

miss him?

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Almost

Almost
Tamia

Can you tell me,

How can one miss what she’s never had

How could I reminisce when there is no past

How could I have memories of being happy with you boy

Can someone tell me how can this be

How could my mind pull up incidents

Recall dates and times that never happened

How could we celebrate love that’s too late and

How could I really mean the words I’m about to say

I miss the times that we almost shared

I miss the love that was almost there

I miss the times that we used to kiss

At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce

I miss the times that we never had

What happen to us, we were almost there

Who ever said it’s impossible to miss

What you never had, never almost had you

I can not believe I let you go

Or what I should say is,

I should have grabbed you up and never let you go

I should have went out with you

I should have made you my boo, boy

Yeah, that is one time I should have broke the rules

should have went on the date,

should have found a way to escape

Should have turned almost into if it happen, now it’s too late

How could I celebrate a love that wasn’t real

And if it didn’t happen, why does my heart feel

I miss the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we used to kiss
At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happen to us, we were almost there
Who ever said it’s impossible to miss
What you never had, never almost had you

(some times I want to hug you, sometimes I want to love you)

You seem to be the perfect one for me

(some times I want to touch you, but to night I want to love you)

You, you’re all I ever wanted

You’re my everything,

Yes it’s true Boy it’s hard to be close to you

My love, boy it may sound crazy

But I’m in love with you

I miss the times that we almost shared

I miss the love that was almost there

I miss the times that we used to kiss

At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce

I miss the times that we never had

What happen to us, we were almost there

Who ever said it’s impossible to miss

What you never had, never almost had you

This is my song for Nathan. No need to explain further ‘coz the song says it all. I really like this song. I know I know. I'm making things complicated again. But believe me. I'm not. When I first heard this song it hit me hard that I know exactly this is what happened between me and Nathan. That's all. I just thought the song really explain a lot about us. Nothing more to it.

(*_*)~*~*~me~*~*~(*_*)

Deal Or No Deal

Real date: Nov. 4, 2006 (saturday)

Mood: Calm but confused

Music: Friend of mine (MYMP)

"Paano kung ang offer ni banker

ay yung mahal mo, tapos ang

laman ng case mo ay yung

sobrang nagmamahal sayo.
Is it a deal or no deal?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Confusing huh?! That's what I'm Feeling right now. PUZZLED. I know I should not be confused anymore because it’s been over and done. Done to the fact that Nathan didn’t fight for the love he’s feeling for me, done to the fact that he left me wondering and still feeling the same thing for him, done to the fact that he ignored me for months. But still here I am wishing and wanting more than friendship. Wrong things to say and to even think about. I’m messing my head and my heart all this what if questions like:

> What if we continued?
> What if I kissed him?
> What if he kissed me?
> What if I fight for us?
> What if I didn’t give up on him?
> What if he still love me?
> What if there’s a second chance?

It’s a total mess up here. I can’t stop thinking about him. I even dreamed about him a couple of times. Is it a sign or what?

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)