money money money

Mood: Happy & Giddy

Money makes the world go round & our wedding to push thru.

But first the sad part. One of our principal sponsor and fave uncle of Luke's can't come home next year for our wedding. The good news he gave us our early wedding gift. =) A big big help to pay for some of our suppliers. Another principal sponsor gave us a little help as well. =)

The 3rd and biggest surprise of all. Luke's paycheck came and it is sooo good... =)

Finally we can move on with the wedding preps.

Very Very happy.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Alone

Mood: not happy nor sad

Music: Impulsive by MYMP

A simple word with a simple meaning "ALONE = SOLITUDE"

Being alone is not so bad. It helps me think regarding my next move.

I don't know if I should be serious with my life right now.

But maybe I should, especially now that I will be getting married.

Being serious in life gives me shivers, but I know it's for my own good.

I'm scared with what my life might happen after the wedding.

How married life goes?

Questions came puring in my thoughts when I hear the word marriage.

Will I be a good wife?

Will I have kids soon?

Will I be a good mother?

What will happen when we have kids?

All those questions left unanswered until I'm married.

All this things I kept on thinking just because I am alone for 4 hours.

What will my thoughts be if I'm alone for the whole day?

But you know what?

Even if I'm kind of scared, I am still relaxed because I know my better half will help all the way.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Politics can ruin your work

I hate politics. Specially politics that you discuss in work. For example: Your boss is a loyalist of Gibo. How about your employees? What if they are for Villar, Aquino, Estrada or Gordon. They can't even think for themselves because you "the boss" is a Gibo loyalist. They can't say anything that they don't like Gibo because they are scared. They can't do anything because they might hear or be discriminated if they say who they really want to vote.

Now you tell me that "never ever discuss politics, sex and religion with your friends because you have a different point of view" but you give away and keep on campaigning a certain politician at your office, you give away ballers, t-shirts and stickers. How is that not discussing anything?

What if me, as your employee, is a Aquino loyalist? But you as my boss is a Gibo loyalist. Then you discuss in my face all the wrong doings of Aquino and of course no mistakes with Gibo. How is that fair?

What if I got mad at you because Aquino help me a lot that you don't even know and I shoved it in your face my boss about all the wrong doings of Gibo. Of course I'll get fired but you will just say that you fire me because I shouted at you and did not respect you. But the real reason is that because I didn't agree with you.

Even if you did not tell your employees to be a loyalist of a certain politician but do you think they can say something about it? Of course not.

Think it through, not all of your employees has the same mindset as you. And how dare you say that your friends are blinded on what they believed in.

Shame on you my boss.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

a NOT GOOD tuesday morning

It is official. There will be no more wedding happening this year. :(
It makes me cry thinking about it. But then again it will be better off than thinking were will we get the money to pay for our suppliers.
I thought I want to get married. But NO,

I just want the thought of preparing for a wedding.


(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

We might move it

Just like the title says we might move the wedding date to Oct. 16, 2010 to Sept. 10, 2011. Yes that's right. 2011 not Sept. 10, 2010 but 2011. WHY? Because still with the same reason. NO MONEY for everything. How can we move on to the next step in our relationship without money. I suggested to have a civil wedding but Luke doesn't want to. So there will be just 3 options:

Option 1: Loan... mangutang ng mangutang hanggang sa mabaon na kahit kasal na nagbabayad pa din ng utang.

Option 2: Move the date to later next year para makaipon muna kahit papano and wait for his formal proposal with e-ring.

Option 3: No wedding at all.

I can't cry anymore. I'm so tired of thinking and crying and doing everything. why did I put myself into this mess? Dapat talaga sa umpisa pa lang hindi na ko pumayag na magpakasal sa kanya lalao na wala siyang ipon, proposal at singsing... :(


(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

I didn't expect it

Date: March 19, 2010 (Friday)

Haaayyyyy.... Bakit ba ganito? Ako pa ngayon ang nagtuturo sa kanya kung anong maganda at murang engagement ring. In short NAGPAPARAMDAM ako na gusto ko ng singsing. Kasi naman sino ba namang lalaking may mahal na magpropopose sa gusto niyang pakasalan ng walang engagement ring? :( Akala ko talaga bibilin na niya yung singsing para sakin. Akala ko sosorpresahin niya ako nung nagpunta kami sa baguio ng tatlong araw... :( Ang sakit ang lungkot. Dapat talaga hindi ako pumayag nung nag propose siya sa akin ng walang singsing. :(

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

tell me how

so tell me
how can we pull this off
when we don't have a dime to spend
for this special day?
we can't pay with tears, smile, or by pleading.
i don't want to lose hope
but what else can i do?
i just need to pray harder
and hope for the best
need to think positive
and wish for the rest.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Again with the expectations

Date: Feb. 13, 12010
Mood: Mixed emotions
Music: Maybe this Time by Glee Cast


Valentines has come and gone. I am not expecting anything from him. I just wanted one thing only. The ring that started it all... I know he can't still afford it, but I am not asking for too much I just want a simple one but still it will be a symbol that he really asked my hand in marriage.

I keep on bringing it up to my friends but still stayed firm that I am not expecting anything this valentine's day. Then a friend said to me 2 days before vday.

"Just wait maybe it will come sooner or later."

So I thought maybe my friend is right maybe Luke is planning on something this vday and will give me the best gift a girl could ever wanted.

Come vday I was too busy preparing a candle light dinner for a friend and his date. I keep on thingking that maybe it will be really for me and Luke. But then I thought Luke will never use purple for my special evening. So erase the thought.

When the dinner was about to start he kept on asking if i will still go back to the room? Maybe just maybe he hid it there.

All those expectations and high hopes that my friend has given me vanished when the clock strikes at 1 am. it is officially Valentine's Day. When Luke called me to go to the room there is his surprise for me:

A chocolate filled bed that says I love you.
A long stem rose
A slide show of almost all of our pictures.
And a snowglobe.

But no Ring... :(

I should have stayed firm. I shouldn't have expected. I know him too well but I let my guard down. Now I got depressed and disappointed.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

The time has come

Ayun na nga akala ko kasi okay lang sakin na walang e-ring hindi ko pala kakayanin. Lalo na nung nakita ko yung cousin ko na may e-ring na. Parang nasa isip ko.

"Buti pa siya may singsing kahit next year pa ang kasal... :("

masakit malungkot

Ano ba to?!?! :(

(*_*)~*~me~*~(*_*)

Kailan

Kailan mo kaya malalaman?
Ang nasa isip at puso ko
Kailangan pa bang sabihin?
Hindi ba dapat ikaw ang magkusang magbigay sa akin Nasasaktan na ako
Umiiyak sa tuwing naaalala ko
Nangangarap kung kailan magkakaron
Para mapatunayan na totoo
Alam kong medyo mabigat
Ngunit iyon ay nararapat
Ako'y may karapatang magkaron
Sana maisip mo
Bago pa dumating ang Oktubre
Ang sakit sakit
Lagi na lang naiinggit
Lagi na algn umiiyak sa tuwing naiisip
O Kailan?

(*_*)~*~me~*~(*_*)