Noong panahon na iyon

(ilang taon na ang nakalipas)

Nung [high school] ako may isang kaibigan na nagpakilala sa akin kay (Nathan). Masayang masaya ako nung nakilala ko siya kasi dati pa ako may gusto sa kanya hindi ko lang talaga siya kilala. Kahit sa pangalan hindi ko alam.

Simula nung pinakilala siya sa akin. Naging matalik na kaming magkaibigan. Tumatawag siya sa akin gabi-gabi. Tapos sa eskwela naman kami pa din ang magkausap at magkasama.

Hindi ko naiwasan na lalo akong magkagusto sa kanya. Hindi naman mahirap magkagusto sa katulad ni Nathan.
> Mabait
> Malambing
> Mahilig magpatawa
> Maaalalahanin
> “Gentleman”
Hindi ka pa mahuhulog sa ganung mga ugali?!

Wala akong iniisip na iba tungkol sa relasyon naming. Alam ko naman na kaibigan lang talaga ang relasyon naming. Akala ko walang masisisra sa amin. Iyon pala may iba siyang motibo. Hindi naman masama iyon pero masakit. Kasi May gusto pala siya kay Brooke, isa kong matalik na kaibigan. Magpapatulong pala siya para makilala ng lubos ang kaibigan ko na iyon.

Hindi ako tumangi kasi mabait naman si Nathan at alam kong magiging maganda ang kalalabasan kung sakaling magkatuluyan sila ni Brooke. Nung binanggit niya sa akin ang intensiyon niya kay Brooke ipinakilala ko naman siya kaagad.

Nung nagging si Nathan at Brooke ako naman ay medyo lumayo muna. Umiwas ng konti para walang masabi ang ibang tao kung sobrang malapit pa rin kami ni Nathan. Alam mo naman ang high school madaming malilikot ang isip.

Kahit walang sinasabi si Nathan o si Brooke na lumayo ako nagkusa pa rin ako na umiwas. Hindi naman sobrang iwas. Ayoko lang talagang mag karoon ng istorya sa aming tatlo.

Hindi naman nasira ang pagkakaibigan naming ni Nathan kahit na lumayo ako sa kanya. Yung nga lang tinatawagan na lang niya ako sa bahay dahil dun lang talaga ako nakikipag usap sa kanya ng matino at mahaba.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Sa Kanya

Real Date: April 18, 2005 (Monday)
Mood: Sober
Music: We belong together (Mariah Carey)


I can’t believe it. Even Mouth knows about Luke and Rachel. What the hell? What is happening around me? I just found out that Luke is using Mouth’s house as a hidding place for him and Rachel. To make matters worst Mouth asked me to join them later at Luke’s house to drink. Well, I said yes.

I didn’t ask anyone among our circle of friends to pick me up. So here I am standing outside Luke’s house waiting for a friend to accompany me inside because I don’t want to go in alone. Finally Mouth and Skills arrived, and then Luke went out. He said hi and he looked at me, or maybe what I’m wearing. Huh!!!! Good thing I lose weight before this happen. What I’m wearing?! A tight hipster and a plain white v-neck shirt. Talk about cleavage. I sat down at the sofa and pretend to text someone but all I’m doing is reading my old messages. Shots and shots and shots later. I went out for a while to smoke and relax because I can’t act and think straight with that Rachel girl in front of me. Luke followed me outside, and he said I look good. Huh!!!! You know what, I kiss him. I don’t know why. Reflex maybe. He kisses me back so no problem there.

We went back in. Rachel is looking at us. So fun. I sat back to my place and shockingly Luke sat beside me. My phone beeps, I read the message and it’s from him.

Luke: I love you and I miss you.
Me: Me too.
Luke: This is hard.
Me: No! This hurts.
Luke: I’m Sorry. :(
Me: It’s partly my fault too, I guess. I’ll take you back. I promise.
Luke: Really?! :)
Me: Yes.

I went home early because I have an early class. Luke drove me home. On our way to my house the air is dead silence. Finally we arrived. He even went down the car to accompany me to the door. Then he leaned forward and kiss me goodnight. A longer one.

My message to Rachel: I know you know the song “Sa kanya” Luke told you that song. Try to hear it and analyze the song properly because that’s our song.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

It HURTS! It really does!

Real Date: April 17, 2005 (Sunday)
Mood: Sober

Music: Constantly (MYMP)

Luke asked me out, so I said okay. We had dinner and coffee, I think. I don’t usually look at his phone, but there’s a sudden feeling of borrowing it and browsing. At first I was playing a game on his phone. Then I started looking at his inbox, usual quotes of the day and some of my messages. Then I had this urge to look at his outbox, which I don’t know why because Luke doesn’t really save his sent messages. But there it was, one sent message from him. I opened it, I know it was bad but I saw it already so might as well read it right or else I’ll die out of curiosity, he send a message to a girl named Rachel the message goes:

“ Bie I’m going to Hermoine’s place. I’m sorry.”

So what’s up with that?! He’s seeing someone but then he still asks me out? And take note of this, this is not the first time he asked me out on a date. So this only means one thing. His two-timing either her or me. I don’t know the girl, thank GOD. I was shock though because we only cool off our relationship less than a month?! And this happened. It’s so fast. I can’t believe HIM or the girl. After that incident I didn’t talk to him for a while. It was dead silent.

I asked him to drive me home already because I’m really not in the mood anymore. He said sorry but it was too late. It’s been done. Faster than I expected. Well I was not expecting that to happen because I know we are just on a cool-off stage not a break stage. Sigh!!!!

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Stop and Think

Real Date: March 20, 2005 (Sunday)
Mood: Crazy
Music: When the last teardrop falls (Blaque)

Luke and I decided to have a break with our relationship first because a day will not end for us not arguing. He’s always jealous with my group mate even though nothings between us we’re just friends, and I’m always hot headed with things. That’s the reason why we had to have a break for a while. This will also be a way for us to think and realize each other’s worth. If we have to continue what we’ve started or stop right here. It’s also a way for us to realize our mistakes with each other and if we can live our lives without each other’s company.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Message from HIM

Real Date: Jan. 10, 2006 (Tuesday)
Mood: Happy
Music: Hate that I Love you (Rihanna)








Nathan messaged me today.


“You got me with your messages earlier. You’re trying to hold my feelings back. I love you but unfortunately I can’t show that to you. You are committed so there’s nothing more I can be but just a FRIEND.”


My moment of SILENCE…


(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

The Casts

Just to help you understand the flow of my stories.

I’ll use the names of the One Tree Hill casts:

Luke- he’s my long time boyfriend with some mistakes happen but still got up to continue what we have.

Nathan- he’s my best guy friend & my crush ever since I met him.

Peyton- she’s my college best friend, she’s always there whatever decisions I make she just supports me all the way.

Rachel- Luke's first fling. I loathed her.

Brooke- a good friend way back high school.

Mouth, Skills, Jake, Jimmy - Highschool friends

Nikki- the golddigger

Lindsay - Nate's new gf

I'll update this if ever there will be a new cast.


(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Deal Or No Deal

Real date: Nov. 4, 2006 (saturday)

Mood: Calm but confused

Music: Friend of mine (MYMP)

"Paano kung ang offer ni banker

ay yung mahal mo, tapos ang

laman ng case mo ay yung

sobrang nagmamahal sayo.
Is it a deal or no deal?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Confusing huh?! That's what I'm Feeling right now. PUZZLED. I know I should not be confused anymore because it’s been over and done. Done to the fact that Nathan didn’t fight for the love he’s feeling for me, done to the fact that he left me wondering and still feeling the same thing for him, done to the fact that he ignored me for months. But still here I am wishing and wanting more than friendship. Wrong things to say and to even think about. I’m messing my head and my heart all this what if questions like:

> What if we continued?
> What if I kissed him?
> What if he kissed me?
> What if I fight for us?
> What if I didn’t give up on him?
> What if he still love me?
> What if there’s a second chance?

It’s a total mess up here. I can’t stop thinking about him. I even dreamed about him a couple of times. Is it a sign or what?

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)