Another one of those IM's

Date: Feb. 26, 2008 (Tuesday)

Mood: Excited

Music: Almost

Just read through it… It’s just the sweetest first IM’s…

Nathan: aba?! galing ha!
hehe!
ka im ko rin jake ngyon e
tpos bnuksan ko pa frendster n mutliply nya
Hermoine: conference kmi nila jake & jimmy
bkit?
Nathan: ahh..
gusto ko mkita account mo
namimis ko na "IT GURL" e (aaawwwwww... sweetness)
Hermoine:hehehe...
tignan mo...
ok lng naman sakin e...
Nathan:hehe!
oo nga pero wala naman account e
hahaha!
Hermoine: wala?

This is it!!!!!

Nathan: actually gusto ko mamit in person c "IT GURL"
Hermoine: tlaga bkit?
Nathan: wala lang..
mis ko na sya..
Hermoine: ahh...
cge pagnakita ko sya sabhin ko miss mo na sya...
Nathan: cge b! suplada na kc ngyon un e..
Hermoine:tlaga?!
ang sab nya sakin kaw daw ang suplado e...
Nathan: oo naman! tagal na!
parang d naman nya ko kilala
Hermoine: parang d nga ata e... (arte arte)
Nathan: asus!

Random IM's

Hermoine: Nathan: actually gusto ko mamit in person c"ITGURL"... arte mo Nate ha?!
Nathan: ako pa ngyon nagiinarte!?
kaw ayaw mkipagkita e
Hermoine: HUUUWWAAAATTTTTT???????
ako?
ayaw makipagkita?
Nathan: sabe ko jan ako lage dmadaan ako sa area mo e
kelangan b muna magfile nag approval k Luke?
Hermoine: cra...
e bkit naman kac makikipagkita ka sakin dto pa sa office...
Nathan: bkit naman hinde?!
Hermoine: ilang beses na kitang niyaya laging ayaw...
Nate short hair na ko ulit...
Nathan: tlga?! how short?!
Hermoine: tignan mo sa friendster...
Nathan: short hair na b un sa pic mo sa im?
Hermoine: yup...
Nathan: hmm.. nkita ko na nga knina pero i didn't mind kala ko kc natakpan lang or sumtin pero bgay naman sayo (hindi nya napansin pero sabi nya bagay sakin noh?!)
Hermoine: lumaki muhka ko...
Nathan: d ko napansin kc close up pic mo e
Hermoine: hihi...

I don't like this part... :(

Hermoine: pag ako nagyayang umalis makikipagkita ka ba?!
Nathan: ok lang bsta d macconflict sa sked ko
Hermoine: tuwing kailan ka ba pwede?
Nathan: 7days a week nako pmpasok lam mo naman un (sh*t naman)
Hermoine: nye...
Nathan: tuwing ddaan ako jan sa area mo
Hermoine: hirap sumingit sa sked mo...
Nathan: a cofi or lunch wud do
ganito sked ko hangang mag give up ako sa isa kong work
Hermoine: sat or sun d ka pwede?
Nathan: nasa first office ako
hehe!
Hermoine: no chance...
Nathan: wikends sa telus ako
kya chance ko lang e pagdumaan ako jan sa area mo
Hermoine: d naman ata pwedeng la kang off noh...
Nathan: pagnag off ako mttulog lng ako
d ko na nman iggmik cguro yun.. suicide yun! haha!
Hermoine: spend it with me...
kahit one tym lng... (nagmamakaawa na ko... huhuhu... )
Nathan: ok lang tlga sana..
il let u know kung kelan ko ggive up isa kong work
soon..

LOG OFF!!!!

(*_*)~*~me~*~(*_*)

Another one of those dreams

Date: Feb. 2, 2008 (Saturday)
Mood: Tipsy

The Dream

I had a dream about Luke. We were on a car with some friends. Then I took his phone and started looking at his messages. I saw a sweet message from a girl so I started freaking out. Then I found out it’s another fling of his. I went down the car and ran. Then I woke up.

I don’t want this to happen again. I told him a little bit about my dream not all though. Then I told him if it happened again for the third time I swear I will not be solving our issue anymore. I’m done. I’m not going to be the one always running after him every fling he have and act like nothing happened. Not for the third time.

Fool me once, shame on you

Fool me twice shame on me

Fool me three times, I’m stupid

(*_*)~*~*~me~*~*~(*_*)

Almost

Almost
Tamia

Can you tell me,

How can one miss what she’s never had

How could I reminisce when there is no past

How could I have memories of being happy with you boy

Can someone tell me how can this be

How could my mind pull up incidents

Recall dates and times that never happened

How could we celebrate love that’s too late and

How could I really mean the words I’m about to say

I miss the times that we almost shared

I miss the love that was almost there

I miss the times that we used to kiss

At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce

I miss the times that we never had

What happen to us, we were almost there

Who ever said it’s impossible to miss

What you never had, never almost had you

I can not believe I let you go

Or what I should say is,

I should have grabbed you up and never let you go

I should have went out with you

I should have made you my boo, boy

Yeah, that is one time I should have broke the rules

should have went on the date,

should have found a way to escape

Should have turned almost into if it happen, now it’s too late

How could I celebrate a love that wasn’t real

And if it didn’t happen, why does my heart feel

I miss the times that we almost shared
I miss the love that was almost there
I miss the times that we used to kiss
At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce
I miss the times that we never had
What happen to us, we were almost there
Who ever said it’s impossible to miss
What you never had, never almost had you

(some times I want to hug you, sometimes I want to love you)

You seem to be the perfect one for me

(some times I want to touch you, but to night I want to love you)

You, you’re all I ever wanted

You’re my everything,

Yes it’s true Boy it’s hard to be close to you

My love, boy it may sound crazy

But I’m in love with you

I miss the times that we almost shared

I miss the love that was almost there

I miss the times that we used to kiss

At least in my dreams just let me take my time and reminisce

I miss the times that we never had

What happen to us, we were almost there

Who ever said it’s impossible to miss

What you never had, never almost had you

This is my song for Nathan. No need to explain further ‘coz the song says it all. I really like this song. I know I know. I'm making things complicated again. But believe me. I'm not. When I first heard this song it hit me hard that I know exactly this is what happened between me and Nathan. That's all. I just thought the song really explain a lot about us. Nothing more to it.

(*_*)~*~*~me~*~*~(*_*)

Trust

Real Date: April 10, 2005 (Sunday)

When I heard his story I don’t know what will my reaction be. My parents know already about our (Me & Luke) situation(that we broke up). I was touch really because I didn’t know that my parents trust us that much and that Luke is that open with my parents.

My Parents wants us to fix our issue because they trust Luke so much especially my mom. That even though I’m out all day and night as long as I’m with Luke it’s okay with her.

I really don’t know what to feel and how to react. My eyes are teary I don’t know why. But on the contrary the feeling is good because the trust my parents have between Luke and me.


(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

May sakit lang naman

Mood: Unwell
Music: Hate that I love you by Rihanna


Eto na naman ako diba?! Magkekwento tungkol kay Nathan. Kasi ganito yun.
Isang araw may sakit ako as in may sakit talaga ako. Tapos kinagabihan nag text sa akin yung isa kong friend tinatanong niya yung resulta ng board exams ko. Sabi ko naman ayoko pang tignan kasi kinakabahan pa ko. Maya-maya nag text na si Nathan.

“Hi din hermoine, musta na? Mwah.”

Tinatanong din niya yung resulta ng boards. Kinukulit nila ako na tignan ko na para daw macongratulate na daw nila ako. So ako naman napilitang tumayo sa kama kahit na tamad na tamad ako para tignan yung resulta. Ilang oras ko din hinahanap yun tska ang tagal mag load ng results sa inquirer.

Nung nakita ko na ang resulta tinawagan ko na kaagad si Luke at nag text na kaagad ako kay Nathan at sa kaibigan ko.

“friends, pasensya na ha hindi ako pumasa e.”

Yan ang message ko sa kanila. Habang kausap ko si Luke biglang tumawag sa cellphone ko si Nathan. Nagpaalam muna ako kay Luke para makipag usap sa kanila. Unang unang kumausap sa akin si Nathan. Nag sorry siya dahil baka na pressure pa daw ako sa text nila at pag pilit nila sa akin. Sabi ko naman okay lang dahil makikita ko din naman yun. Hirit ni Nathan sa akin.

“Basta kung kailangan mo ng kausap Hermoine nandito lang ako text mo lang ako anytime.”

O diba ang sweet niya. Pero hindi ko sila masyadong makausap ng matino dahil lahat sila lasing na. Hahaha. Kahit naman dati pa alam ko naman ng nanjan lang silang lahat para sa akin pumasa man ako o hindi. Kaya kahit anong mangyari masaya pa rin dahil sa lahat ng taong sumusuporta sa akin. Kahit masakit ang nangyari.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Noong panahon na iyon

(ilang taon na ang nakalipas)

Nung [high school] ako may isang kaibigan na nagpakilala sa akin kay (Nathan). Masayang masaya ako nung nakilala ko siya kasi dati pa ako may gusto sa kanya hindi ko lang talaga siya kilala. Kahit sa pangalan hindi ko alam.

Simula nung pinakilala siya sa akin. Naging matalik na kaming magkaibigan. Tumatawag siya sa akin gabi-gabi. Tapos sa eskwela naman kami pa din ang magkausap at magkasama.

Hindi ko naiwasan na lalo akong magkagusto sa kanya. Hindi naman mahirap magkagusto sa katulad ni Nathan.
> Mabait
> Malambing
> Mahilig magpatawa
> Maaalalahanin
> “Gentleman”
Hindi ka pa mahuhulog sa ganung mga ugali?!

Wala akong iniisip na iba tungkol sa relasyon naming. Alam ko naman na kaibigan lang talaga ang relasyon naming. Akala ko walang masisisra sa amin. Iyon pala may iba siyang motibo. Hindi naman masama iyon pero masakit. Kasi May gusto pala siya kay Brooke, isa kong matalik na kaibigan. Magpapatulong pala siya para makilala ng lubos ang kaibigan ko na iyon.

Hindi ako tumangi kasi mabait naman si Nathan at alam kong magiging maganda ang kalalabasan kung sakaling magkatuluyan sila ni Brooke. Nung binanggit niya sa akin ang intensiyon niya kay Brooke ipinakilala ko naman siya kaagad.

Nung nagging si Nathan at Brooke ako naman ay medyo lumayo muna. Umiwas ng konti para walang masabi ang ibang tao kung sobrang malapit pa rin kami ni Nathan. Alam mo naman ang high school madaming malilikot ang isip.

Kahit walang sinasabi si Nathan o si Brooke na lumayo ako nagkusa pa rin ako na umiwas. Hindi naman sobrang iwas. Ayoko lang talagang mag karoon ng istorya sa aming tatlo.

Hindi naman nasira ang pagkakaibigan naming ni Nathan kahit na lumayo ako sa kanya. Yung nga lang tinatawagan na lang niya ako sa bahay dahil dun lang talaga ako nakikipag usap sa kanya ng matino at mahaba.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Sa Kanya

Real Date: April 18, 2005 (Monday)
Mood: Sober
Music: We belong together (Mariah Carey)


I can’t believe it. Even Mouth knows about Luke and Rachel. What the hell? What is happening around me? I just found out that Luke is using Mouth’s house as a hidding place for him and Rachel. To make matters worst Mouth asked me to join them later at Luke’s house to drink. Well, I said yes.

I didn’t ask anyone among our circle of friends to pick me up. So here I am standing outside Luke’s house waiting for a friend to accompany me inside because I don’t want to go in alone. Finally Mouth and Skills arrived, and then Luke went out. He said hi and he looked at me, or maybe what I’m wearing. Huh!!!! Good thing I lose weight before this happen. What I’m wearing?! A tight hipster and a plain white v-neck shirt. Talk about cleavage. I sat down at the sofa and pretend to text someone but all I’m doing is reading my old messages. Shots and shots and shots later. I went out for a while to smoke and relax because I can’t act and think straight with that Rachel girl in front of me. Luke followed me outside, and he said I look good. Huh!!!! You know what, I kiss him. I don’t know why. Reflex maybe. He kisses me back so no problem there.

We went back in. Rachel is looking at us. So fun. I sat back to my place and shockingly Luke sat beside me. My phone beeps, I read the message and it’s from him.

Luke: I love you and I miss you.
Me: Me too.
Luke: This is hard.
Me: No! This hurts.
Luke: I’m Sorry. :(
Me: It’s partly my fault too, I guess. I’ll take you back. I promise.
Luke: Really?! :)
Me: Yes.

I went home early because I have an early class. Luke drove me home. On our way to my house the air is dead silence. Finally we arrived. He even went down the car to accompany me to the door. Then he leaned forward and kiss me goodnight. A longer one.

My message to Rachel: I know you know the song “Sa kanya” Luke told you that song. Try to hear it and analyze the song properly because that’s our song.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

It HURTS! It really does!

Real Date: April 17, 2005 (Sunday)
Mood: Sober

Music: Constantly (MYMP)

Luke asked me out, so I said okay. We had dinner and coffee, I think. I don’t usually look at his phone, but there’s a sudden feeling of borrowing it and browsing. At first I was playing a game on his phone. Then I started looking at his inbox, usual quotes of the day and some of my messages. Then I had this urge to look at his outbox, which I don’t know why because Luke doesn’t really save his sent messages. But there it was, one sent message from him. I opened it, I know it was bad but I saw it already so might as well read it right or else I’ll die out of curiosity, he send a message to a girl named Rachel the message goes:

“ Bie I’m going to Hermoine’s place. I’m sorry.”

So what’s up with that?! He’s seeing someone but then he still asks me out? And take note of this, this is not the first time he asked me out on a date. So this only means one thing. His two-timing either her or me. I don’t know the girl, thank GOD. I was shock though because we only cool off our relationship less than a month?! And this happened. It’s so fast. I can’t believe HIM or the girl. After that incident I didn’t talk to him for a while. It was dead silent.

I asked him to drive me home already because I’m really not in the mood anymore. He said sorry but it was too late. It’s been done. Faster than I expected. Well I was not expecting that to happen because I know we are just on a cool-off stage not a break stage. Sigh!!!!

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Stop and Think

Real Date: March 20, 2005 (Sunday)
Mood: Crazy
Music: When the last teardrop falls (Blaque)

Luke and I decided to have a break with our relationship first because a day will not end for us not arguing. He’s always jealous with my group mate even though nothings between us we’re just friends, and I’m always hot headed with things. That’s the reason why we had to have a break for a while. This will also be a way for us to think and realize each other’s worth. If we have to continue what we’ve started or stop right here. It’s also a way for us to realize our mistakes with each other and if we can live our lives without each other’s company.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Message from HIM

Real Date: Jan. 10, 2006 (Tuesday)
Mood: Happy
Music: Hate that I Love you (Rihanna)








Nathan messaged me today.


“You got me with your messages earlier. You’re trying to hold my feelings back. I love you but unfortunately I can’t show that to you. You are committed so there’s nothing more I can be but just a FRIEND.”


My moment of SILENCE…


(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

The Casts

Just to help you understand the flow of my stories.

I’ll use the names of the One Tree Hill casts:

Luke- he’s my long time boyfriend with some mistakes happen but still got up to continue what we have.

Nathan- he’s my best guy friend & my crush ever since I met him.

Peyton- she’s my college best friend, she’s always there whatever decisions I make she just supports me all the way.

Rachel- Luke's first fling. I loathed her.

Brooke- a good friend way back high school.

Mouth, Skills, Jake, Jimmy - Highschool friends

Nikki- the golddigger

Lindsay - Nate's new gf

I'll update this if ever there will be a new cast.


(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Deal Or No Deal

Real date: Nov. 4, 2006 (saturday)

Mood: Calm but confused

Music: Friend of mine (MYMP)

"Paano kung ang offer ni banker

ay yung mahal mo, tapos ang

laman ng case mo ay yung

sobrang nagmamahal sayo.
Is it a deal or no deal?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Confusing huh?! That's what I'm Feeling right now. PUZZLED. I know I should not be confused anymore because it’s been over and done. Done to the fact that Nathan didn’t fight for the love he’s feeling for me, done to the fact that he left me wondering and still feeling the same thing for him, done to the fact that he ignored me for months. But still here I am wishing and wanting more than friendship. Wrong things to say and to even think about. I’m messing my head and my heart all this what if questions like:

> What if we continued?
> What if I kissed him?
> What if he kissed me?
> What if I fight for us?
> What if I didn’t give up on him?
> What if he still love me?
> What if there’s a second chance?

It’s a total mess up here. I can’t stop thinking about him. I even dreamed about him a couple of times. Is it a sign or what?

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

The feeling is back

Real Date: Sept. 26, 2006 (tuesday)

Mood: Confused

Music: Always been you (Imajin)

"Never let go of someone that

you couldn't go on a day without

THINKING about. There just might

be a GoOd ReAsOn why they're

always on your mind. Sometimes,

it's the B-R-A-I-N that knows

too well that the HEART tries so hard

to deny."

Sometimes it’s so hard to get rid of a feeling. Even though you don’t want to feel it anymore.

You’re trying so hard to forget the [past events] but still it is stuck on your head. People say

feelings are made to be expressed, but unfortunately the feelings that I’m having can’t be shown

because its {forbidden}. I had the chance to express it and I blew it BIG time. We had a chance

but both of us hesitated to continue the feeling. I don’t know why.

“My mind said stop, but my heart said go on and love him”

Confusing really I didn’t know what to do back then. I didn’t know what to think. I just go with the flow. He wants me to stop and he left, so I did. I moved on. But every time we talk. (The feeling is coming back). The memories are not just mere memories. It’s like really happening all over again.

Now I can’t STOP thinking about him. I stopped talking to him as in no communication at all but the thinking is still there, and I can’t get rid of it. I’m not doing anything so I guess there’s nothing to be WoRrIeD about to the people around especially my other half, right?!

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

My Blogspot

I haven’t blog for a while now. I have my blogspot before but I deleted my account just because.

Now I’m starting to right away my feelings again. Just read between the lines and go with the

flow. Comments are open and suggestions as well. If you don’t understand the story feel

free to ask.


The names are not real though for safety purposes but I’m 100% sure that my stories are real.



(^_^) ~*~me~*~(^_^)