We might move it

Just like the title says we might move the wedding date to Oct. 16, 2010 to Sept. 10, 2011. Yes that's right. 2011 not Sept. 10, 2010 but 2011. WHY? Because still with the same reason. NO MONEY for everything. How can we move on to the next step in our relationship without money. I suggested to have a civil wedding but Luke doesn't want to. So there will be just 3 options:

Option 1: Loan... mangutang ng mangutang hanggang sa mabaon na kahit kasal na nagbabayad pa din ng utang.

Option 2: Move the date to later next year para makaipon muna kahit papano and wait for his formal proposal with e-ring.

Option 3: No wedding at all.

I can't cry anymore. I'm so tired of thinking and crying and doing everything. why did I put myself into this mess? Dapat talaga sa umpisa pa lang hindi na ko pumayag na magpakasal sa kanya lalao na wala siyang ipon, proposal at singsing... :(


(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

tell me how

so tell me
how can we pull this off
when we don't have a dime to spend
for this special day?
we can't pay with tears, smile, or by pleading.
i don't want to lose hope
but what else can i do?
i just need to pray harder
and hope for the best
need to think positive
and wish for the rest.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Again with the expectations

Date: Feb. 13, 12010
Mood: Mixed emotions
Music: Maybe this Time by Glee Cast


Valentines has come and gone. I am not expecting anything from him. I just wanted one thing only. The ring that started it all... I know he can't still afford it, but I am not asking for too much I just want a simple one but still it will be a symbol that he really asked my hand in marriage.

I keep on bringing it up to my friends but still stayed firm that I am not expecting anything this valentine's day. Then a friend said to me 2 days before vday.

"Just wait maybe it will come sooner or later."

So I thought maybe my friend is right maybe Luke is planning on something this vday and will give me the best gift a girl could ever wanted.

Come vday I was too busy preparing a candle light dinner for a friend and his date. I keep on thingking that maybe it will be really for me and Luke. But then I thought Luke will never use purple for my special evening. So erase the thought.

When the dinner was about to start he kept on asking if i will still go back to the room? Maybe just maybe he hid it there.

All those expectations and high hopes that my friend has given me vanished when the clock strikes at 1 am. it is officially Valentine's Day. When Luke called me to go to the room there is his surprise for me:

A chocolate filled bed that says I love you.
A long stem rose
A slide show of almost all of our pictures.
And a snowglobe.

But no Ring... :(

I should have stayed firm. I shouldn't have expected. I know him too well but I let my guard down. Now I got depressed and disappointed.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

The time has come

Ayun na nga akala ko kasi okay lang sakin na walang e-ring hindi ko pala kakayanin. Lalo na nung nakita ko yung cousin ko na may e-ring na. Parang nasa isip ko.

"Buti pa siya may singsing kahit next year pa ang kasal... :("

masakit malungkot

Ano ba to?!?! :(

(*_*)~*~me~*~(*_*)

So so sad

Everytime I see someone or hear someone say that they will get married I feel so so so SAD...









(*_*)~*~me~*~(*_*)

when a friend says hello then goodbye

Date: April 22, 2009 (Wednesday)
Mood: Mixed emotions
Music: Feel This by Bethany Joy Galeotti

YM

Nathan: Hermoine, I want to see you.
Hermoine: Awwwww.... alis ka na noh?!
Nathan: Yup, sometime next week.
Hermoine: Awwww... sige meet tayo. When?
Nathan: Ngayong lunch? Diyan naman ako dumadaan sa area mo eh
Hermoine: Hindi ako pwede ng lunch dami kong work eh. Maya na lang. Coffee na lang tayo.
Nathan: Sige. Sundo kita? (awwww sweetness kaya lang hindi pwede)
Hermoine: Hindi na. Uwi muna ko. May kunin pa ko sa house eh.

LOG OFF

So ayun na nga. Nagkita na nga kami ni Nate first and last for this year. He'll be leaving next week thursday.

I'll miss you dearly my friend. Take Good Care of yourself. Hope everything will be okay.

(*_*)~*~me~*~(*_*)

the saddest thing

I think the wedding is off.

WHY?

Because we don't have any money to pursue it.
we don't have any money to have even a simple wedding.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

desperate

I just heard myself talk and I sounded so "desperate"...

I didn't even see it coming. I thought everything is good. I keep on planning for our future and I haven't even notice that "he" haven't said anything at all. Meaning what?

He doesn't want to have a future with me?

I am such a dummy I'm so ashamed of myself, I was the one who proposed, I was the one who's looking for a house, I was the one who keeps registering for wedding expo, I was the one who decided to have a civil wedding this year.

I'm so stupid
Pathetic
Dumb
DESPERATE

I'm so sorry for this. I'm so sorry for that. I'm so sorry for being so desperate. I'm sorry.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

Because of Just one weekend

I'm having issues with Luke's dad and brother again (well most of it is on his dad), and it's hurting Luke. I'm not doing anything wrong, I'm just thinking of Luke. Here's the situation: Luke stays with me during the weekdays because my house is closer to his office. Now sometimes I plan a trip for us and it always fall on weekends because that's the only time we have a time off. Now he's dad and brother is upset because they just want to be with Luke and I understand that. The only thing I don't understand is they are upset not because of that but also because Luke is the only one helping his dad every weekend in cleaning everything in their house, his brother is upset because he's the one doing the chores instead of Luke. Now I'm upset because that's their intention. I told Luke that maybe he should stay with his family for now just until every one cooled off. Then he could stay with me during the weekends. He doesn't want to because he might not be able to leave during the weekend and that would be another issue.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I want to help but I can't It's all up to Luke now.

I'm just here whenever, whatever.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)