Hello 2011

Mood: Confused

Again with the confused mood? Why you ask? Because I dreamed about Nathan last night. It just happened. I'm not thinking about him or anything it just did. So here's the dream, it's short but the weirdest of all.

I think I was grilling something outside a house (i don't know who's house it is) i have my back on a wall and people are on the other side of that wall. Then Lindsay (his gf) walked by followed by Nathan. When Lindsay is out of sight, Nathan came back to me hug me and kissed me on the lips. It is so weird because there's this feeling that we both wanted to kiss each other more but then we might be caught by our bf or gf.

Then I woke up.

So many questions:

> why did I dream of him?

> what is the dream about?

> am i missing something?

> am i just being paranoid over this?

I need to google this dream.

(^_^)~*~me~*~(^_^)

money money money

Mood: Happy & Giddy

Money makes the world go round & our wedding to push thru.

But first the sad part. One of our principal sponsor and fave uncle of Luke's can't come home next year for our wedding. The good news he gave us our early wedding gift. =) A big big help to pay for some of our suppliers. Another principal sponsor gave us a little help as well. =)

The 3rd and biggest surprise of all. Luke's paycheck came and it is sooo good... =)

Finally we can move on with the wedding preps.

Very Very happy.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Alone

Mood: not happy nor sad

Music: Impulsive by MYMP

A simple word with a simple meaning "ALONE = SOLITUDE"

Being alone is not so bad. It helps me think regarding my next move.

I don't know if I should be serious with my life right now.

But maybe I should, especially now that I will be getting married.

Being serious in life gives me shivers, but I know it's for my own good.

I'm scared with what my life might happen after the wedding.

How married life goes?

Questions came puring in my thoughts when I hear the word marriage.

Will I be a good wife?

Will I have kids soon?

Will I be a good mother?

What will happen when we have kids?

All those questions left unanswered until I'm married.

All this things I kept on thinking just because I am alone for 4 hours.

What will my thoughts be if I'm alone for the whole day?

But you know what?

Even if I'm kind of scared, I am still relaxed because I know my better half will help all the way.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

Politics can ruin your work

I hate politics. Specially politics that you discuss in work. For example: Your boss is a loyalist of Gibo. How about your employees? What if they are for Villar, Aquino, Estrada or Gordon. They can't even think for themselves because you "the boss" is a Gibo loyalist. They can't say anything that they don't like Gibo because they are scared. They can't do anything because they might hear or be discriminated if they say who they really want to vote.

Now you tell me that "never ever discuss politics, sex and religion with your friends because you have a different point of view" but you give away and keep on campaigning a certain politician at your office, you give away ballers, t-shirts and stickers. How is that not discussing anything?

What if me, as your employee, is a Aquino loyalist? But you as my boss is a Gibo loyalist. Then you discuss in my face all the wrong doings of Aquino and of course no mistakes with Gibo. How is that fair?

What if I got mad at you because Aquino help me a lot that you don't even know and I shoved it in your face my boss about all the wrong doings of Gibo. Of course I'll get fired but you will just say that you fire me because I shouted at you and did not respect you. But the real reason is that because I didn't agree with you.

Even if you did not tell your employees to be a loyalist of a certain politician but do you think they can say something about it? Of course not.

Think it through, not all of your employees has the same mindset as you. And how dare you say that your friends are blinded on what they believed in.

Shame on you my boss.

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

a NOT GOOD tuesday morning

It is official. There will be no more wedding happening this year. :(
It makes me cry thinking about it. But then again it will be better off than thinking were will we get the money to pay for our suppliers.
I thought I want to get married. But NO,

I just want the thought of preparing for a wedding.


(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

We might move it

Just like the title says we might move the wedding date to Oct. 16, 2010 to Sept. 10, 2011. Yes that's right. 2011 not Sept. 10, 2010 but 2011. WHY? Because still with the same reason. NO MONEY for everything. How can we move on to the next step in our relationship without money. I suggested to have a civil wedding but Luke doesn't want to. So there will be just 3 options:

Option 1: Loan... mangutang ng mangutang hanggang sa mabaon na kahit kasal na nagbabayad pa din ng utang.

Option 2: Move the date to later next year para makaipon muna kahit papano and wait for his formal proposal with e-ring.

Option 3: No wedding at all.

I can't cry anymore. I'm so tired of thinking and crying and doing everything. why did I put myself into this mess? Dapat talaga sa umpisa pa lang hindi na ko pumayag na magpakasal sa kanya lalao na wala siyang ipon, proposal at singsing... :(


(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)

I didn't expect it

Date: March 19, 2010 (Friday)

Haaayyyyy.... Bakit ba ganito? Ako pa ngayon ang nagtuturo sa kanya kung anong maganda at murang engagement ring. In short NAGPAPARAMDAM ako na gusto ko ng singsing. Kasi naman sino ba namang lalaking may mahal na magpropopose sa gusto niyang pakasalan ng walang engagement ring? :( Akala ko talaga bibilin na niya yung singsing para sakin. Akala ko sosorpresahin niya ako nung nagpunta kami sa baguio ng tatlong araw... :( Ang sakit ang lungkot. Dapat talaga hindi ako pumayag nung nag propose siya sa akin ng walang singsing. :(

(^_^) ~*~me~*~ (^_^)